Wednesday, September 2, 2009

5 Personal Development Tips That Will Enrich Your Life

Personal development is all about improving yourself as a person and reaching your goals in life. The goals vary between people. Quite commonly it relates either one or more of the following:

- improving your career
- improving your personality
- making more money
- finding your spiritual side
- Improving and building relationships
- finding your purpose in life

The above goals are common amongst people but the vast majority of people simply plod through life with no real regard to how they will achieve any of their true goals. It is only once we stop and think about our life do we start to realize that we may not have achieved what we want or that we are not on the right path to making those dreams come true. Whatever the case, making self improvement a major focus in your life has countless benefits.

Here are some quick tips to help you use personal development to your advantage:

1. Make a plan and write it down
Writing down your plans and goals on paper reaffirms them to you. It makes them real. Reading through this plan every day, twice or more per day, is the best way to train your brain to see them as reality.

2. Envisage yourself where you want to be
Do you want a new job, better marriage or more money? Then start imagining that it is happening right now. You will be surprised how events will fall into place once you have accepted the fact that you CAN have these things.

3. Take small steps
You can't achieve your life goals in one day. But you can take steps towards it every day so make sure you make a move everyday that is just a small part of your overall development plan.

4. Be grateful
Only through being grateful through what you already have and the changes that have come about will you learn to accept even more good fortune into your life.

5. Take responsibility
Stop blaming others for where your life has ended up and realize that everything that you have now is a direct result of the decisions you have made each and every day. You can start making better decisions today and take full responsibility for the path your life will take.

These simple tips can help you make the most of what personal development has to offer.

One great personal development tool I've started using recently is the Quantum Mind Power Program. I have posted a review about it at my website. Visit http://www.mindpowerreviews.com/quantum_mind_power_review.html to check out whether it will be suitable for you, too.

11 Easy Ways to Manage Anger

The first step in being able to learn effective anger management techniques is to recognize the situations that make you angry and your body's warning signs of anger.

List things that can trigger your anger

Make a list of the things that often set off your anger (for example, running late for work and getting stuck in a traffic jam, your teenager leaving not helping out around the house or a co-worker blaming you for something you didn't do). If you know ahead of time what makes you angry, you may be able to avoid these things or do something different when they happen.

Pay attention to the warning signs of anger in your body

Notice the things that happen to your body that tell you when you are getting angry (for example, a pounding heart, flushed face, sweating, tense jaw, tightness in your chest or gritting your teeth).The earlier you can recognize these warning signs of anger, the more successful you will probably be at calming yourself down before your anger gets out of control.

Find anger management techniques that work for you

There are a number of different ways of managing anger and some strategies will suit you better than others. Here's some simple ways to put an end to the vicious cycle of stress that anger can bring:

Control your thinking

When you're angry, your thinking can get exaggerated and irrational. Try replacing these kinds of thoughts with more useful, rational ones and you should find that this has an affect on the way you feel. For example, instead of telling yourself "I can't stand it, it's awful and everything's ruined," tell yourself "It's frustrating, and it's understandable that I'm upset about it, but it's not the end of the world and getting angry is not going to fix it." Psychologists call this type of thinking "self talk."

Develop a list of things to say to yourself before, during and after situations in which you may get angry. It is more helpful if these things focus on how you are managing the situation rather than what other people should be doing.

Before:

"I'll be able to handle this. It could be rough, but I have a plan."

"If I feel myself getting angry, I'll know what to do."

During:

"Stay calm, relax, and breathe easy."

"Stay calm, I'm okay, s/he's not attacking me personally."

"I can look and act calm."

After:

"I managed that well. I can do this. I'm getting better at this."

"I felt angry, but I didn't lose my cool."

Take time out

If you feel your anger getting out of control, take time out from a situation or an argument. Try stepping outside the room, or going for a walk. Before you go, remember to make a time to talk about the situation later when everyone involved has calmed down. During time out, plan how you are going to stay calm when your conversation resumes.

Use distraction

A familiar strategy for managing anger is to distract your mind from the situation that is making you angry. Try counting to ten, playing soothing music, talking to a good friend, or focusing on a simple task like polishing the car, doing the dishes, folding laundry or walking the dog.

Use relaxation techniques

Relaxation strategies can reduce the feelings of tension and stress in your body. Practice strategies such as taking long deep breaths and focusing on your breathing, or progressively working around your body and relaxing your muscles as you go.

Learn assertiveness skills

Assertiveness skills can be learnt through self-help books or by attending courses. These skills ensure that anger is channelled and expressed in clear and respectful ways. Being assertive means being clear with others about what your needs and wants are, feeling okay about asking for them, but respecting the other person's needs and concerns as well and being prepared to negotiate.

Avoid using words like "never" or "always" (for example, "You're always late!"), as these statements are usually inaccurate, make you feel as though your anger is justified, and don't leave much possibility for the problem to be solved.

Try to acknowledge what is making you angry

Acknowledge that a particular issue has made you angry by admitting it to yourself and others. Telling someone that you felt angry when they did or said something is more helpful than just acting out the anger.

Make sure you think about who you express your anger to, and take care that you aren't just dumping your anger on the people closest to you, or on people who are less powerful than you. For example, don't yell at your partner, children, or dog when you are really angry with your boss.

Sometimes it can help to write things down. What is happening in your life? How do you feel about the things that are happening? Writing about these topics can sometimes help give you some distance and perspective and help you understand your feelings. Work out some options for changing your situation.

Rehearsing anger management techniques

Use your imagination to practice anger management strategies. Imagine yourself in a situation that usually sets off your anger. Imagine how you could behave in that situation without getting angry. Think about a situation where you did get angry. Replay the situation in your mind and imagine resolving the situation without anger.

Try rehearsing some anger management strategies with a friend. Ask them to help you act out a situation where you get angry, so that you can practice other ways to think and behave. Practice saying things in an assertive way.

How are thousand of people learning simple anger management techniques while enjoying a calmer, confident and more productive life? Michael Atma has created the ultimate anger management program for busy people!

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Repairing Your Speech

Damaging verbal filler words are terms used in speech that are not necessary such as, "um, like, ya know, uh-huh", tongue noises, lip smacking, throat clearing or a bodily movement not related to your message. Any type of non-meaningful verbal noise made during speech is a damaging filler word. Teenagers commonly use this type of terminology and who wants to discuss business or make critical decisions with someone who presents like an adolescent? These behaviors cause disruption with the flow of speech and discount your credibility and level of confidence.

Why are damaging filler words used during speech?

1. Nervous Behavior

When distracted by the effects of nervous behavior, speech will be impacted as a result of anxiety. Filler words are injected as the speaker is coordinating their thoughts, speech and anxiety at the same time.

2. Reinforced Habit

When speakers are excited about what they want to say or their thoughts are moving faster than what their speech mechanism can accommodate, habitual filler words may be used. They are not necessarily being used due to nervous behavior but became habit at some point. Often the habit is used as a "filler" to buy time to organize thoughts. Filler words become injected such as, "you know" or "sure" to buy a moment of time while thoughts are being arranged. Many speakers are not even aware they use those terms.

Regardless if the cause is due to nervous behavior or reinforced habit, filler words damage the reputation of a well-intended speaker and serve no purpose in professional situations.
Increasing your Awareness

1. Identify Your Personal Filler Words.

Is it a nervous behavior or reinforced habit? Create a list of your filler words and the situation when they are being used. Having awareness is 80% success.
Words/Phrases Situations

2. Keep a Tally

This is to improve your awareness of the behavior. If you are unaware of the frequency these words are used it will be difficult to end the habit. Keep scratch paper near by and each time you use any term not necessary for your message, add a tally mark. People are astounded at the amount of tally marks found on their paper. This is a good strategy for increasing your awareness so you can discontinue the behavior.

State your plan for keeping a tally.

3. Find Support

Elicit support from a trusted friend or colleague who can give you a signal or monitor every time you use a filler word. This is a good approach for learning how many times filler words are actually used.

These are people I can use for support:

Eliminating Verbal Filler Words

Real World Practice

Strategy Training

1. Rephrase It

When you catch yourself in error, repeat or paraphrase the statement without the filler word. This
will reinforce your awareness, which will make you one step closer to eliminating the habit.

2. Use Carrier Phrases

A. Try a carrier phrase to transition you toward your next thought. If you find yourself using the term "ummmm" frequently, use another word or phrase to transition you toward your true message such as: "well, actually or as a matter of fact".

*Vary your carrier phrases or you will have a new damaging verbal filler word!

B. Often filler words are used as an immediate response to a question or to confirm specific information. The words are used automatically as filler while thoughts are being organized. Plan carrier phrases to use in advance and practice it instead of using that old, "ya know".

Suggestions:

"Good question, Interesting point, To clarify, To confirm, As a follow up"

Plan a few personal carrier phrases to replace verbal viruses:

3. Predict Questions and Plan Your Responses in Advance

If you are going to speak on a topic or lead a meeting chances are you can predict a question someone may want to ask you. Predict 2-3 questions that people may want to ask and plan your response in advance that will allow your speech to flow and be free of verbal viruses. This activity will make you better prepared and automatically increase your confidence.

4. Intentional Pausing

When you feel the need to say "ummm" resist the urge to use a filler word and replace it with a silent pause. In addition, this strategy will allow you to control your rate of speech while allowing time to generate the real word or thought needed to clarify your point. It is a misconception that pausing will be noticeable by listeners and create awkward moments. Most filler words are caused by a fast rate of speech where words and thoughts are competing to come out. Adding a pause will improve your thought organization as well as rhythm and intonation.

5. Say It in your Head

If resisting the urge to say, "ummm" is too great go ahead and say it! However, say it in your
head silently the verbally continue with your message. This is a win-win solution because you can use your verbal virus freely but your listener will never hear it.

Liz Peterson

sritsol@gmail.com

22344 E.Kenyon Place

Aurora, Colorado 80018

Phone: 303-330-3309

Trust Matters Now More Than Ever

Given the state of the world political stage and the perception that highly important business people are often crooks, it's easy to make the assumption that simple things like integrity and ethics are nice to have but not essential to everyday life. Actually, nothing could be further from the truth - and truth still matters as much, if not more, than it ever has. In fact, it's crucial to building and maintaining trust which, in turn, is perhaps one of the most underrated business tools at our disposal.

Stephen Covey, son of the driving force behind the Habits of Highly Effective People books, is convinced that we are in the middle of a trust paradox. The lower our current levels of trust become, the more we see its importance. No where is this more apparent than in the business world where we can actually measure the results on both sides of the trust equation.

The old adage that says time is money perfectly applies when we look at our present situation vis--vis trust. We see how expensive and time consuming most business has become. Consider how much longer it takes to fly from one destination to another since we've lost trust in the ability of the airlines to protect us. Think too about how financial negotiations have gotten bogged down where we've become suspicious that the people we're bargaining with are untrustworthy.

Conversely, we see how things move ahead when the opposite is true. With trust the speed of doing business changes exponentially. For example, when someone well respected -- like Warren Buffet -- is in the room, the level of confidence rises dramatically, the process of negotiating a deal is streamlined and significantly less time is spent creating transparency and building a slew of safeguards to insure that no one is taking advantage of the other.

Furthermore, once we come to see how indispensable a business variable trust can be, we want it for ourselves as well for others. The important thing is to understand that being trustworthy is a learnable skill that requires the adoption of positive habits that can be practiced on a regular basis.

As Stephen Covey has pointed out, there are several key aspects to this process of garnering trust. In addition to being honest and ethical, we need to be competent, to show up when we say we will and do what we've promised to do. By combining strength of character with such competence we can begin to reap the benefits that come with being trustworthy.

Check out Raymond Aaron's Wealth Creator Source...access over 90 powerful interviews with business experts and thought leaders (like Stephen Covey) from across the globe...go to http://www.WealthCreatorSource.com

Well-known international speaker Raymond Aaron is author of seven books and a New York Times bestselling author of "Chicken Soup for the Parents Soul" His latest book, hot off the press, is "Double Your Income Doing What You Love".

Weight Loss Motivation

Lack of motivation is a major reason many people fail when it comes to losing weight. I myself know first hand. All the daily distractions in life can leave you distracted from what you truly want. This article will address 3-ways to stay motivated and give you better chances of succeeding.

Weight Loss Motivation Tip #1

The first step is convincing yourself this is something you must have. Write down the three main reason why you must lose weight. It could be anything such as health benefits, wanting more energy, wanting to increase your life span, etc. Re-sight these on a daily basis to keep you focused on why you must succeed.

It takes years to get out of shape, and even less to get in shape. The average life span for a human is around 70 years. Did you know it can take as little as 6 months to 1 year to get in shape for the average overweight person? Before you start any program, make sure you are willing to commit 6 months to 1 year at it. It will not happen overnight. Its going to take time and energy. Remember your why reasons to help keep you on track.


Weight Loss Motivation Tip #2

The next step is finding a program that works to follow. You should not just buy the first fad diets or exercising gimmick you see on the television. Most people know a handful of people who have tried some form of diet or exercise program that worked. Go to these people and find out exactly what they did. If you do not know anyone, you can find many forums and review sites on the Internet of real user that explain exactly what they have done. Visit some of these websites to for ideas.

Weight Loss Motivation Tip #3

The final step is having someone to motivate and consistently push you to keep going. This could be a spouse, friend, partner, or even someone on an Internet message board. You do not have to go it alone in fact, having someone to keep you motivated will increase your chances of success.

Everybody wants to get in shape and life healthy. In my opinion, everyone can. Using these weight loss motivation tips can drastically help increase your chances of weight loss success. Remember to identify your why reason, stick to a program that works, and find someone to keep you motivated.

This article is written by M. Martin. Find more tips, articles, and reviews for the top diet and exercise programs at Lose Pounds Fast a blog operated by M. Martin.

M. Martin lost 60 pounds following Fat Loss 4 Idiots diet program. A full review for this program can be found at Lose Pounds Fast

How To Get What You Want In Life

Most high achieving men and women are intensely goal-oriented. While most under-achieving men and women have poorly defined goals, if they have any goals at all. This is one of the main reasons why the majority of people suffer from the frustration of feeling that they are accomplishing very little in life.

The ability to set goals and make plans for their accomplishment is the master skill of success. It is the single most important skill that you can learn and perfect. Goal-setting will do more to help you achieve the things you want in life than anything else you can do.

Becoming an expert at goal-setting and goal-achieving is something that you absolutely must do if you want to reach your full potential as a human being. Goals enable you to do the work you want to do, to live where you want to live, to be with the people you enjoy, and to become the kind of person you want to become.

When you develop the habit of setting clear and realistic goals there is no limit to the financial rewards you can obtain. All you have to do is to set a specific goal for financial success your desire, make a plan, and then work the plan until you achieve it.

The payoff for setting goals and making plans is being able to choose the kind of life you want to live. With this being said, its amazing that so few people set goals. Over the past 50 years many organizations and educational institutions have conducted studies on goal-setting. Virtually every study has shown the same startling results. On average, only 3 percent of Americans have written goals and less than 1 percent review and rewrite their goals on a daily basis.

With all of this evidence showing what a person can achieve by setting goals. Why is that so few people actually do it? Over the past 25 years I have consulted with and spoken to thousands of men and women about goal setting, and I have found that there are five common reasons why people dont set goals:

The first reason Ive found that people dont set goals, is that they feel theyve done well without setting goals. If its not broken, why fix it?

Given the power of goals to transform lives, Im always astonished how often I hear this from people. Its easy to be satisfied if youve never set goals. Its convenient to say that everything is fine if you dont know where youre going. You can always say that any destination you arrive at is OK.

The second reason I most often hear from people, is that they do have goals, they just keep them in their head. Most people believe in the fewest motions possible to get things done.

A person who thinks this way, does not have goals. They have wishes, desires, hopes, and dreams. Dreams come to all of us as we go about our daily business. Wishes drift in and out of our conscious thoughts. We think of new interests wed like to pursue, changes wed like to make, and great things wed like to achieve, someday. Were pretty sure we have the ability, and fully intend to do all those things sometime in the future.

The ludicrous nature of this way of thinking is that unless those vague intentions are translated into specific goals, they will drift into that never-never land called Might Have Been, and they will take your life with them.

Unfortunately, this is precisely the way most people conduct their lives. They claim they have goals when they do not. Until dreams are translated into specific goals, thay rarely become a reality, and even if they do, the person is denied the deep satisfaction that would have come from translating his or her dream into a specific goal and achieving it.

The third reason I find that people dont set goals is that theyre afraid of failing. The person feels that without goals, he or she doesnt have to worry about failing.

The problem with this way of thinking is that it goes against the foundation of life itself: you cant be born without risk. Youre only kidding yourself if you think you can live without risk, no matter how carefully you tend to the financial, physical, and emotional aspects of your life. There are always risks in everything you do and setting goals involves risk.

You may succeed. But you may also fail. If you fail, then what? Risk taking is part of the process of growth. So is failure. You must be willing to risk failure again and again if you want to be in the company of the worlds most successful men and women.

Make a friend of failure. Use it as a valuable learning experience, a great motivator, and a necessary step on the road to success. At one point or another in their lives, some of the worlds most successful people have been miserable failures. Winston Churchill once said, I would rather fail my way to success than be a successful failure.

The fourth reason I find that people dont set goals, is that they feel that by setting goals and achieving them, they will be expected to live up to their goals in the future. After achieving a goal where is their motivation going to come from to move on from that point?

This train of thought is even more ludicrous than the first three, because you become more motivated as you approach a goal. When you achieve a goal, you will want to try a more demanding one. Nothing approaches the motivating power that comes from systematically setting and achieving your own demanding goals.

The fifth reason I have found why people dont set goals, is that they only set goals when theres a need. I always hear things like, I set goals when I have a major project at work, or when I want a larger house, or a new car.

People with this type of thinking need to understand that goal setting is not an occasional need. It is a process that transforms lives and that mastering this process of setting and achieving goals is at the heart of life itself. If you dont act intentionally, with purpose, you will be condemned to a life of mediocrity, in which anything meaningful occurs only accidentally.

I have given the most common reasons why most people dont set goals, now lets talk about criteria for effective goals that turn dreams into satisfying reality.

1. They must have a definite purpose. Why do you want to achieve the goal?

2. They must written and rewritten every day.

3. They must be measurable.

4. They must be visible in a place where you can see them everyday.

5. They must have deadlines. A goal without a deadline is simply a wish.

6. They must be realistic and achievable.

7. They must be demanding.

8. Goals must be flexible. You will often have to make changes to achieve your goal.

Effective goals will keep you very focused. Nothing will get in your way. Effective goals will liberate you rather than shackle you. They will improve the quality of your life. Effective goals will give your life balance, they will motivate you, they will challenge you, and they will allow you to live your dreams. Without goals, you can only dream your dreams.

Copyright2006 by Joe Love and JLM & Associates, Inc. All rights reserved worldwide.

Joe Love draws on his 25 years of experience helping both individuals and companies build their businesses, increase profits, and achieve total success. He is the founder and CEO of JLM & Associates, a consulting and training organization, specializing in personal and business development. Through his seminars and lectures, Joe Love addresses thousands of men and women each year, including the executives and staffs of many of Americas largest corporations, on the subjects of leadership, self-esteem, goals, achievement, and success psychology.

Reach Joe at: joe@jlmandassociates.com

Read more articles and newsletters at: http://www.jlmandassociates.com

Monday, August 31, 2009

How Poor Are You?

One day a father and his rich family took his son to a trip to the country with the firm purpose to show him how poor people can be.

They spent a day and a night in the farm of a very poor family. When they got back from their trip the father asked his son, "How was the trip?"

"Very good Dad!"

"Did you see how poor people can be?" the father asked.

"Yeah!"

"And what did you learn?"

The son answered, "I saw that we have a dog at home, and they have four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of the garden, they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lamps in the garden, they have the stars. Our patio reaches to the front yard, they have a whole horizon." When the little boy was finishing, his father was speechless.

His son added, "Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are!"

Wealth really is a state of mind isn't it? You can have all the riches you want but on the other hand you can be the poorest person in the world.

It's a matter of how you think about the riches that are already a part of your life. You have to be grateful for what you have and appreciate any new riches you attract.

Wealth comes in many forms other than monetary, and it's all in the way you think about it. You don't have to be the wealthiest person in the world to have wealth. You already have it.

Susan Denny has been happily married for 38 years, has 4 adult children (all married) and 6 grandchildren. She has many years experience with families and relationships and has been involved in the Self Development industry for nearly 20 years.

Being healthy is a pre-requisite to creating the wealth and happiness you desire in your life. Go to: Health + Wealth = Happiness for more information, tips and ideas and sign up for my free report, Living With Anxiety and Depression.